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You 2.0: In the Heat of the Moment
In a fit of anger or in the grip of fear, many of us make decisions that we never would have anticipated. As part of our You 2.0 summer series, we look at situations that make us strangers to ourselves — and why it's so difficult to remember what these "hot states" feel like once the moment is over.
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In The Heat Of The Moment
/ December 3, 2019
In a fit of anger or in the grip of fear, many of us make decisions that we never would have anticipated. This week, we look at situations that make us strangers to ourselves — and why it’s so difficult to remember what these “hot states” feel like once the moment is over.
Transcript
*The transcript below may be for an earlier version of this episode.
Our transcripts are provided by various partners and may contain errors or deviate slightly from the audio.*
SHANKAR VEDANTAM (HOST): From NPR, this is HIDDEN BRAIN. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Morgan Smalley (ph) has been performing with an improv comedy troupe since she was in college.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
MORGAN SMALLEY (ACTOR): Look at me on Page 4. Somehow, my tongue left my mouth.
(LAUGHTER)
VEDANTAM: After dozens of performances, she's learned that you need more than a creative mind to get the audience laughing. You also need to be a good listener. That means not just hearing what people say; you have to pick up on everything that surrounds the words.
SMALLEY: Like, let's say I came out and instead of saying happy birthday, like, with a happy face, I could be like, happy birthday and clearly that means that I'm upset. And then we go from there. Like, why am I mad at them? Is it that when it was my birthday last time, they treated me like garbage - things like that.
VEDANTAM: Morgan prides herself on being able to pick up on subtext, on being able to read between the lines, behind the lines. When she does that well, she can hear the results immediately.
(LAUGHTER)
SMALLEY: When you get the laugh, it's just, like, such as self-esteem boost (laughter). It's, like, instant validation.
VEDANTAM: And instantly exhilarating. That's how she felt at a recent show.
SMALLEY: There's one thing I did. I was like a slug onstage. I, like, got on the floor and I, like, acted like a slug. I inchwormed across the stage.
VEDANTAM: Her fellow actors lit up. The audience exploded in laughter. When Morgan walked out of the theater that night, she was practically bursting.
SMALLEY: I just needed to do something with my energy. Like, I didn't want to just go home and, like, go to sleep.
VEDANTAM: Just then...
SMALLEY: This guy, like, walked out of nowhere.
VEDANTAM: He was carrying a tripod and a bunch of other stuff.
SMALLEY: Like, a sack with stuff in it. And he was just like, does anybody want to buy this tripod? And I was like, yeah, I want to buy this tripod. I think I could get a lot of use out of a tripod. I was like, how much? And he said, $25. And also, I'm going to give you this $50 Amazon gift card. And I was like, OK, a tripod and a $50 Amazon gift card for $25. Wow, this guy is so cool. I'm totally going to do that.
VEDANTAM: The high she felt from inchworming across the stage just got even higher. Morgan walked with the guy to an ATM.
SMALLEY: I got my money in 20s, so I had to either give him $20 or $40.
VEDANTAM: She asked if she could give him $20 rather than the full $25.
SMALLEY: He was like, you give me whatever you want to give me. And I was like, you're so cool. I'm going to give you $40. And I gave him $40. And then he gave me, like, a shoe box full of other random things. And I was like, he's so cool.
VEDANTAM: Morgan felt like she had hit the jackpot.
SMALLEY: There was a loofah in there. There was a bunch of pens. And I got really excited about the pens because - I don't know - I just love pens. There was, like, stress balls in there. There was, like, a diamond cleaner. I've never heard of a diamond cleaner before, but it's got, like, bristles at the end and, like, this juice on the inside. What else is in there? Arts and craft supplies. And he also threw in a pair of women shoes. They weren't my size, but I was like, I could sell those. This is awesome.
VEDANTAM: Morgan couldn't wait to show her roommates the loot. She burst into her apartment and told them about her unbelievable good fortune.
SMALLEY: They were like, what is wrong with you (laughter)? They were like, OK, what this guy did is he took this stuff out of cars that weren't locked, and then he sold it to you for money. I was like, no. No, he was so cool. No, he was so nice. He said he was moving. He was getting rid of the shoes. He said they were his girlfriend's shoes. He said he was distancing himself from technology. That's why he couldn't use the gift card. And he said his aunt gave him that gift card and that's why he didn't want it. And slowly, like, my universe just, like, unravelled. And I was like, no. I just bought a bunch of stolen stuff.
VEDANTAM: Why did Morgan, who prides herself on being able to read subtext and situations, fail to see what seemed obvious to her friends?
SMALLEY: I like to think of myself as, like, a pretty logical person. But in that moment, I didn't have any logic. Like, I wasn't questioning the situation. I was just being super impulsive, and so in that way, I think I was being a pretty different person.
VEDANTAM: It's as if there are two people within Morgan and neither understands the other. Logical Morgan thinks impulsive Morgan made a glaring mistake, but impulsive Morgan is just as bewildered by logical Morgan. Who would pass up a deal like this? This week on HIDDEN BRAIN, we explore how certain situations cause us to become strangers to ourselves.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #1: And I definitely didn't maintain cool and calm.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #2: My entire body froze.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #3: I was just an absolute blubbering mess.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #4: I became filled with anger.
UNIDENTIFIED PERSON #5: And I just kind of lost it.
VEDANTAM: And we look at the deep psychological mystery that occurs during these moments. No matter how many times we discover the strangers living inside us, the next time always catches us by surprise.
(SOUNDBITE OF AIDAN MARK LAVERTY AND ANDREW ERIC HALFORD'S "SAY YOU WILL")
VEDANTAM: Quick heads up - this episode contains stories about sex, sex work and sexual harassment.
The Pittsburgh area is home to some of the steepest hills in America. George Loewenstein used to run these hills every week with his friend Jules (ph).
GEORGE LOEWENSTEIN (PROFESSOR, CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY): We would leave our offices and run down through the park all the way down to the river. And then there is a town called Greenfield with a very, very big hill.
VEDANTAM: It's so steep that stairs are built into the hill to make it easier to climb.
LOEWENSTEIN: We would get absolutely exhausted on the way up, and we'd kind of be egging one another on and be feeling very, very miserable.
VEDANTAM: On the way up to the peak, all he could think of was the pain. But moments later...
LOEWENSTEIN: It was all forgotten within maybe 10, 20 seconds.
VEDANTAM: The more George thought about it, the more it seemed like a puzzle. As he was climbing the hill, the idea of relief was inconceivable. The pain felt endless. But the moment he crested the hill, the pain faded so quickly that in his memory, it hadn't been so bad. A few days later, he would lace up his shoes and go running with Jules again. It occurred to George that this gap in perception was psychologically important and applied to more than just the pain of running.
LOEWENSTEIN: I realized that when you're not in pain or cold or experiencing a powerful emotion like anger or fear, it's very difficult to imagine yourself in that situation.
VEDANTAM: There is a reason this happens.
LOEWENSTEIN: Emotions completely transform us as people. So when we're in one emotional status, it's as if we're a different person than we are when we're in a different emotional state.
[...]