The Benefits of Mixed Emotions

We've all been in situations where we experience mixed emotions. Maybe you've felt both joy and sadness during a big life decision, such as whether to purchase a home or accept a job offer. Or maybe you've experienced mixed feelings about the ways the COVID-19 pandemic has shaped your life. Psychologist Naomi Rothman says that while these feelings of ambivalence are uncomfortable, they can also serve us in important ways.

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[Sculptures of three male faces showing ambivalent emotions.]

Emotions 2.0: The Benefits of Mixed Emotions

By Hidden Brain Staff

/ November 4, 2024

Sometimes we feel just one single feeling with overwhelming force. We’re joyously happy. We’re crushingly sad. But sometimes it’s more complicated than that: We feel happy and sad at the same time. This week, we revisit a favorite 2022 episode with psychologist Naomi Rothman, who shares her research on the mixed emotion of ambivalence. She explores how being of two minds changes the way we think, and how it changes the way others see us.

RESEARCH:

When Feeling Mixed Can Be Meaningful: The Relation Between Mixed Emotions and Eudaimonic Well-Being, by Raul Berrios, Peter Totterdell, and Stephen Kellett, Journal of Happiness Studies, 2018.

Microfoundations of Organizational Paradox: The Problem is How We Think About the Problem, by Ella Miron-Spektor, et. al, Academy of Management Journal, 2017.

Feeling Mixed, Ambivalent and in Flux: The Social Functions of Emotional Complexity for Leaders, by Naomi Rothman and Shimul Melwani, The Academy of Management Review, 2016.

The Good and Bad of Ambivalence: Desiring Ambivalence Ender Outcome Uncertainty, by Taly Reich and S. Christian Wheeler, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2016.

Unlocking integrative potential: Expressed emotional ambivalence and negotiation outcomes, Naomi B. Rothman, Gregory B. Northcraft, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2014.

The Ambivalence of Expert Categorizers, by Jessecae Kelly Marsh and Naomi Rothman, Conference Paper: Cognitive Science Society, Berlin, Germany, 2013.

The Ambivalent Mind Can Be a Wise Mind: Emotional Ambivalence Increases Judgment Accuracy, by Laura Lees, Naomi Rothman, Reuvan Lehavy, and Jeffrey Sanchez-Burks, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2012.

Steering Sheep: How Expressed Emotional Ambivalence Elicits Dominance in Interdependent Decision Naking Contexts, by Noami Rothman, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2011.

Ambivalence and Decisional Conflict as a Cause of Psychological Discomfort: Feeling Tense Before Jumping Off the Fence, by Frenk van Harreveld, et. al, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2009.

Transcript

*The transcript below may be for an earlier version of this episode.
Our transcripts are provided by various partners and may contain errors or deviate slightly from the audio.*

Shankar Vedantam:This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. In high school, Naomi Rothman was a shy teenager. That is until she laced up her cleats and stepped on the field for her travel soccer team. Surrounded by teammates she loved, Naomi became a completely different person.Naomi Rothman:We were called the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and it was very meaningful to me because I created these really strong friendships and it gave me a lot of confidence. It gave me a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, and I really strongly identified with this team.Shankar Vedantam:There was just one catch.Naomi Rothman:The players on this team predominantly came from the east side of town and played at Harbor High.Shankar Vedantam:Naomi's school, Santa Cruz High was on the west side of her hometown of Santa Cruz, California.Naomi Rothman:And so during our high school season, we had to play against each other and someone always had to lose.Shankar Vedantam:Harbor and Santa Cruz were always among the top contenders. The rivalry between the schools was intense.Naomi Rothman:Every game we played against one another was high stakes. And these games were some of the most emotionally fraught games that I ever played. And the reason was that I loved these players. I had this deep, genuine affection for the people that I was trying to beat.Shankar Vedantam:The same player she had fought alongside as a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers were now trying to crush her when Harbor high faced Santa Cruz. Her friends had become her frenemies. Naomi Rothman never forgot what that early experience felt like. Today she's a psychologist who studies what happens to our minds when we feel like we are being emotionally pulled in opposite directions.Naomi Rothman:It's absolutely an uncomfortable state. In fact, that will then kind of set the stage for how you engage with your environment, which is essentially to try to get rid of that feeling of discomfort.Shankar Vedantam:The pain paralysis and promise of mixed emotions, this week on Hidden Brain.Sometimes we feel just one single feeling with overwhelming force. We are joyously happy, we are crushingly sad, but sometimes it's more complicated than that. We feel happy and sad at the same time. At Lehigh University, psychologist Naomi Rothman studies the mixed emotion of ambivalence. She explores how ambivalence changes the way we think and how it changes the way others see us. Naomi Rothman, welcome to Hidden Brain.Naomi Rothman:Thank you so much for having me here with you.Shankar Vedantam:Naomi, you have a young daughter and she recently told you she wanted a hot new toy called a Magic Mixies Cauldron. What is a Magic Mixies Cauldron, and what was your reaction to her request?Naomi Rothman:Apparently this is a toy where there's a special wand that allows you to mix a potion and it creates a mist to rise in this cute little furry friend called a Magic Mixie appears through the mist. And all she really wants is this toy and all of her friends are obsessed with this toy. It's kind of constantly on their minds. And when I looked up online kind of the reviews, which is what I always typically do, I was completely ambivalent. There are all these complaints that the potion leaks, it stains your rug, it's a total waste of money. And it's like this one and done activity.Shankar Vedantam:Naomi had mixed feelings about getting the toy, but then she started hearing from other moms. They were going to great lengths to get it during a time of limited inventory.Naomi Rothman:I actually had a friend who texted me that she was at Target waiting for the shipment to be unboxed because she was told that they might actually have a delivery of a few of these. And this is a working mother who's basically hanging out at Target to get one of these Cauldrons. She's not ambivalent at all. She's completely committed. I ultimately decided to go ahead and get it, but that was after a whole lot of vacillation. And lo and behold by the time I actually pulled the trigger, the prices had skyrocketed and it's totally sold out at all of our local Target stores. And my lack of action is going to cost me either time - I'm going to have to go hang out in Target for this next shipment, it's going to cost me in terms of money - or it's going to cost me in terms of my daughter's happiness.Shankar Vedantam:I want to look at another moment in your life, perhaps with slightly more serious stakes, where you also felt ambivalence. You

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Original source

📄 MarshRothmanCog.pdf